In this day and age, social media is predominant in our lives. I can’t speak for all social platforms but I do know that Facebook is the number one form of social media with about 900,000,000 people using it around the world! Facebook can be a wondrous place for keeping in touch with friends and family EVERYWHERE. We can share pictures, post updates, share news and information, ask for help, reconnect, find recipes, etc. etc. It can be very addicting. What on earth did we do before Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest?!
With anything of this capacity there can also be drawbacks. I have witnessed many a’ catty arguments, rude comments, and some pretty intense rants. The most innocent culprit I would say though would be our own judgement of ourselves and each other. The ‘good’ ole comparison game.
For example, your friend goes on another exotic vacation sans children. <You wondered how long it would take her to post about her ‘super-fun’ time.> She is laying on a beach with her man beside her, <naturally it is minus one thousand degrees here…> The water looks crystal clear and the sky has never looked so blue. <She is obviously having the BEST time ever.> She is relaxing with not a care in the world. Her picture looks like a post card. You know the one where you can see their bronzed legs and feet, the sand and a strategically placed slush drink with an umbrella. Oh and of course the book casually laying on their lap. It is difficult not to be jealous when yet again, you are strapped for cash. <How do they do it all the time?> <Who watches their kids?>
We have all felt Facebook inspired pangs of jealousy from time to time. These envious feelings have to do with the comparison between ourselves and our ‘friends’ or dare I say our distant online acquaintances in many instances? We get jealous of their better job, their perfect home, the awards, promotions etc. etc. We can even beginning judging each other’s business pages.
I just have to say that most people when they post on Facebook are putting their best foot forward. They are rarely writing a status that talks of their latest dinner time struggle getting the kiddos to eat. You won’t often hear about an argument between a husband and wife splashed all over the page, and are you going to admit that really embarrassing thing that you did today? Not likely. You are more likely to post the amazing recipe that you or your hunny made, the romantic thing that your significant other did, pictures of a well put together family.
Let me tell you that it is a-ok. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors. You don’t know what struggles people have. That well put together person may be falling apart behind that screen. She may have major feelings of inadequacy. Remember we generally only see each other’s highlights. The good stuff. Not the bad and the ugly! The real skinny is everyone has their own shit, their own struggles, and their own pile of stuff to sift through. It is called a normal life!
I just read a post by Jon Acuff that said, “Inspiration tells you anything is possible. Comparison tells you everything is impossible.” He went on to say that, “Inspiration drives you forwards. Comparison pulls you backward. Inspiration tells you there’s still time to accomplish something amazing while comparison tells you it’s too late.” Full post here http://acuff.me/2015/01/inspiration-vs-comparison/
So how do we get out of this trap? It’s really quite simple and might take some practice. But here’s what you do…ready for it? You celebrate others. Let me repeat. You plain and simply celebrate others. You try and be happy for them.
Clap instead of criticize. This change can make a big shift and allow you more emotional freedom.
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Start to want the best for others and hey maybe they will also want the best for you. What a lovely little thought! So next time your buddy posts a success, gets that major opportunity, or goes on the trip of a lifetime. Dig deep and celebrate with them. Xxxxx
Wishing you the BEST Xxxx,
Krystal
